Life Lately

April 02, 2014

Wow – it’s been over two months since I took pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?) and wrote a post here. My apologies in advance for this post - it's a bit of a mishmash of topics and thoughts, but it is a reflection of my life lately.

The past two-plus months have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride – speeding along on a straightaway before suddenly plummeting to earth, only to be jerked sideways right before hitting the ground. The ride continues for a bit with many ups and downs, and then you suddenly come to a stop only to realize you’re pretty much back where you started but some of the people around you have changed, and you're wondering where to go next.

This winter has been a rough one. I’m not a winter person by any stretch of the imagination, but I know most Torontonians will agree that this was one of the coldest, longest winters in quite some time. I’m not ashamed to admit the cold and the grey got to me, and the joy I once felt when composing something for this blog disappeared, leaving me uninspired and frankly unwilling to put in the time necessary to write a post when there was serious hibernating to be done.

Adding to my winter blues, the past two months also saw the end of my four year relationship. It’s so odd that something you were once so sure of can become something you can no longer see continuing. How does that happen? How do you go from having things mapped out, to floundering in a sea of uncertainty - unsure of what direction is the best one to go? I wonder have I changed that much, or has what I want to achieve and accomplish with my life changed so drastically that what I thought was a clear path has suddenly become a foggy road full of twists and turns?

A year ago I don’t think I ever thought I’d be here – 35(yup – I hit this milestone in the past two months as well), single, and strangely back at school. Those who’ve known me for years know that I’ve never been that academically inclined. I coasted through grade school with barely a thought and (let’s be honest) minimal effort. My first go-round at post-secondary schooling was a rather dismal failure (seriously – whose genius idea was it to major in Political Science?), and I’m quite determined that this time will be a different story.

The part-time Interior Decorating program I’m enrolled in comprises of 14 courses which are meant to be completed within 3 years. I’m so determined to get this done I’ve decided (wisely or not) to fast track – taking 3 courses at a time. Hopefully this means I’ll be finished them all by next Christmas – just 1.5 years after I started. At times it’s overwhelming. I figured it out the other day – I’m in class on average 12hrs a week on top of my 40hr work week. Did you know that full-time post-secondary schooling is considered 12 or more hours a week? Neither did I, but apparently I’ve been working full time while attending class full time for the past 12 weeks. No wonder I’m tired.

This blog has been shoved to the back burner of my very over-filled stove for the last little bit – a lot of that was due to my workload (did I mention the hours of homework, as well as the duties associated with being President of my condo Board?), but a portion was due to a general feeling of apathy towards it. The self-imposed expectation of a minimum of one home décor post a week is rather stifling – some weeks I just don’t have anything home décor related that I’m excited to share. Is there a rule somewhere that says since I’ve delared this to be a home decorating blog I should only share décor related things? While I love Interior decorating, that’s not all that I’m interested in – I love food, and travel, and humour, and wine, and current events, and all sorts of other things – why have I been restricting myself to sharing only one part of the things that interest me?

Don’t worry, this blog isn’t going to suddenly turn into a political commentary on the current status of Toronto’s City Hall (although, if Rob Ford is elected Mayor again I may have to move) but going forward I’m hoping to be able to unapologetically share some of the other things that catch my interest.

I’m working on some other changes to the blog (a new look, a name change perhaps?) which I hope to share in the next little bit (as well as a Para Paint Crew project next week) - but in the meantime I hope you’ll stick around as I strive to find my feet again after this latest rollercoaster ride and as I continue to muddle through this wonderful thing called life.

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  1. This winter has been a rough one for lots of people, I really can't imagine what kinds of chaotic it would be if everything snowballed. School can be frustrating and overwhelming but you're a smart lady and driven too. Once you get closer to the finish line you'll be so SO glad you fast tracked, even if there are times when you question your sanity between then and now.

  2. Sounds to me like it has been a crazy winter for you- but ALSO an exciting fresh start!!!!! Good luck!

  3. Aw, sorry for the bumps in your road. FWIW, having also just turned 35, I'm inspired by your return to school and dedication. It's really awesome, and brave. I often think that I would be a much better student now than I was when I was in university - because I'm a lot smarter now. here's hoping that a little spring will bring some brightness to us all!

  4. Ah, dude, I'm sending you virtual hugs and big high-fives. Knowing how to prioritize (and when to quit) is a very useful skill. Knowing how to prioritize and when to quit when it's hard to do so is an AMAZING skill.

    It sounds trite, but the best changes come from through the hardest decisions- be they about relationships, career, education... or what to have for dinner :) And at the end of the day, whatever you decide and however you blog (if at all), bloggy friends will still be here, hanging around :)

  5. I've told you before how amazing I think you are for tackling school and a full time job, but let me just say again that YOU ARE AMAZING! I love this post because of your honesty, and candidness. Thanks for sharing a slice of your personal life with us.

  6. Thanks Thalita :)

  7. My sanity is being questioned on an almost daily basis (and not just by me - my mom thinks I'm a little nuts - ha!), but you're right - as I inch closer to the end of the program I'm feeling better about my decision :)

  8. I don't know if I'm necessarily smarter, but I'm most definitely wiser now than I was in my uni days. I guess it's true - with age comes wisdom. And grey hair. I could do without the latter ;)

  9. Knowing when to quit is an incredibly useful skill - one I'm hoping I can exercise next Tuesday - it's my building's AGM, and I'm determined this year not to get roped into serving for a 4th year on the board. I should hire someone to come and hit me over the head if I look like I might cave into my sense of responsibility.
    I don't have any plans to abandon the blog - just need to figure out the best way to do it so it keeps making me happy :)

  10. Wow, Michelle, sounds like you have your hands full. We Canadians are resilient to a point, but this winter has been a little too much! It's been hard to stay positive. And then you've got a whole lot else to deal with! I hope things start to feel better as you move through. I'm sure you will be so excited as you work your way through the courses and open up a whole other phase in your career. Good luck! AND TELL THE CONDO BOARD NO!

  11. You've had a rough ride, but it sounds like you are setting yourself up for success. Based on your blog, I'd say you are going to kick butt in design school!

  12. Like you, I'm a Poli Sci major (yeah, what was that about?) who went back to school for Interior Design in my 30's. Hang in there, it will all be worth it and there are brighter days ahead for sure! And no you don't have to blog strictly about decor, it can be whatever your interests are because it's your blog!

  13. Hang in there Michelle! I think the winter's really almost over and things will seem better in more light. Good luck with everything <3

  14. Are we twins? I did my MBA part-time while working full-time, I served on the condo board for three years, and I ended a six year relationship when I was 34. But guess what, those were some of the best decisions I ever made. I have no doubt you're right where you're supposed to be and even greater happiness is ahead. Blog what you want to blog about... a blog is a slice of your life, decor and all.


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